hey, beautiful
by glitterypony
Summary: It's a beautiful summer day, and Mikan decides to write her beloved Natsume a letter. Post-canon. Oneshot.


**disclaimer: **i don't own gakuen alice. if i did, natsume would be mine—oh, 'scuse me, i'm drooling right now.

**recommended listening: **this way by depapepe. listen here - replace the parentheses and stuff with what's named inside: http(colon)(slash)(slash)www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch?v(equalsign)co-lqQf58ts

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**hey, beautiful**

_"At times when I am feeling sad  
And think that no one cares,  
I feel the vibrations of your wings,  
And know that you are here."_

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Good morning, beautiful. (You probably want to kill me right now for calling you 'beautiful,' but honey, it's the truth; you are so beautiful.)

It's summer right now, and I'm sitting here on the porch, writing this to you—by the way, the sunshine is obnoxious today; ninety-two degrees! And weather forecasts say this constant heat won't cease for another month or so. (I'm turning in a fried potato chip. Ugh. Seriously.)

How's everything?

Well, if you really do somehow get this letter, then before you read, I'm just gonna tell you right here—I'm not stupid and wasting my time for writing this letter to you. Don't call me stupid, I've had enough of that back in Alice Academy already—don't give me any of that rude attitude _now, _okay? Just relax and read the rest of this.

Anyway, back to the point of this letter (actually, there isn't really one, but just read, mmkay?): I just wanted to talk to you and…give you an update on life now.

Life is great, I suppose. Ever since we all graduated (—or, to some people, I'm sure many—_escaped _may be a better word) from Alice Academy, things have been going smoothly.

Hotaru and Ruka-pyon got married, can you believe that? They married just over three months ago in a church's garden, with me, Anna, Nonoko, Permy, and Misaki-senpai as the bridesmaids—oh, there were _so many _guests, and it was hectic. Almost everyone from Alice Academy (yes, including the sensei's—yes, even Jinno-sensei) came to witness their vows, and the garden was cluttered with hundreds and hundreds of animals, thanks to Ruka-pyon's animal pheromone alice. (Yes, Hotaru, despite being the bride, busied herself with snapping pictures of her groom and his animals.) Seriously, when they said their 'I do's', I bawled my eyes out, because they're such a cute couple! Well, of course nobody had expected that the famous Ice Queen would fall in love with the Animal Lover, but life is just so unpredictable. So they got married, and went on a long honeymoon (courtesy of Hotaru) somewhere in Hawaii. Did I mention Hotaru's pregnant now? We'll be seeing a baby Ruka-pyon/baby Hotaru in just nine months!

Aha, I'm so excited.

Yuu and Anna are dating, and so are Mochu and Nonoko. Permy…she's in an on-and-off relationship with Koko, haha! Right now, we're all living in the same neighborhood—we didn't want to separate, even after graduation, so we all chipped in and bought houses in a cheerful, bright and safe district. And as for our old friends (maybe not necessarily _yours, _but be nice now), we all still keep in touch. We're still there for each other.

Hey, beautiful…You still there?

As for _me…_I'm doing well, on the outside. At least nobody pesters me every moment about whether I'm okay or not, whether I need someone to talk to. I swear, that gets kind of annoying. Don't get me wrong—I'm not saying I hate that everyone harbors concern for me, but it gets tiring and straining as it gets too frequent.

_I'm alright._

Okay, not really.

In terms of finance and stuff, yes I'm fine (I'm single, by the way), but emotionally…

I miss you, beautiful.

I miss you so, so, so much.

Honestly, I used to really hate you—remember when you pulled my shirt and looked down my 'flat' chest?—and would always wish for you to die, but I didn't mean it. At all.

I miss you.

I miss you so much.

I miss your ruby eyes, your soft, inky black hair, your smooth hands—and, I hate to admit this, but your soft lips.

(Remember that kiss we shared during the Christmas Ball? Shut up, yes…I enjoyed it.)

I miss being called 'Polka,' I miss being made fun of for my underwear, I miss getting mad in class for no reason, I miss being embarrassed by a certain someone.

I miss you.

I wish I had done something to prevent you from going on that mission four years ago. I wish I had stopped you from leaving.

I didn't know it would be the death of you.

(But you probably knew, huh? Is that why you didn't say anything to me before you left? Is that why you merely smirked when I cried as I sobbed 'goodbye' to you? If so, you were so stupid, bakabakabaka—)

I miss you.

Funny, huh?

I used to hate your guts, now all I want to do is see you again.

How are you doing, beautiful?

I wonder where you are right now—in Hell? Heaven? Somewhere else?

I don't know, but I know you're watching over me—over us—right now, hm? Are you now my Guardian Angel? Ha, I've always wanted one of those.

I hope you're in heaven right now—it's where someone like you deserves to be.

Natsume, thank you. So much.

For everything.

For always making fun of me (I'd always needed a little brightening up), for buying me Howalon all the time (yes, I know you left those anonymous boxes outside my room), for going to Central Town with me all the time even though you hated loud places, for always protecting me.

You went on that mission for my sake, didn't you? Yes, Narumi-sensei told me all about how they'd originally planned for me to go, since I do have the stealing alice and nullification alice and all.

Baka.

I'm sorry.

(I'll be burning this letter to you after I'm done, so I hope you get to read this in the...afterlife, or something.)

Natsume, I wish I'd told you this sooner, when you were still with me, but…

I love you.

(Don't mind the wet splatters on this paper from this point on—it's just raining right now, I swear, I'm not crying.)

I love you.

Be happy, wherever you are right now.

Thank you, beautiful.

I think I'll be okay, as long as you're watching over me. Really.

I love you.

Always and forever.

Love,  
Your Polka

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"_D__ear __Guardian Angel,__  
__My friend, my __heart, my love.__  
__I may never have your courage or strength,__  
__But I will always look for you above."_

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**author's note: **yes, mikan was actually crying when she wrote the second half of this letter. if you read the beginning, it says it's summer, so those droplets can't possibly be from rain—just so you know. um, i think i'm gonna rewrite this when i get the chance. it's probably plagued with typos and errors. reviews would be lovely. (: btw, there's a poll on my profile page that's supersupersuper important. please go place a vote if you have time. (:


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